Survivor: The Lost Island
by Blue Panda
Summary: 39 days, 16 Oceanic castaways, only 1 survivor. Watch as the two teams compete for the grand prize, getting off the island. Also your reviews WILL determine who gets voted off next. Lets hope its not your favorite character! R&R! Day 11 UP!
1. Day 1 pt 1 Survivors Ready?

39 days, 16 Lost castaways, only one Survivor!

Theme song – do do doo do do do do do do da da do da doo doo doooooo dooooo do do do da da da da da da da do do do!

Hello and welcome to the 42nd addition of survivor, Survivor: Lost Island. I'm your host Henry Gale. This time when a person gets voted off instead of leaving the game you go to the _ROOM_ like were Walt went. Ha ha ha ha cough excuse me cough. The winner will get a first class trip off the island and will get back to living a normal life. Now let me introduce to you the two teams.

Blue Team which will be called "The Fuselage"

Jack

Kate

Hurley

Jin

Boone

Mr. Eko

Charlie

Crazy French Chick

Purple team which will be called "The Magical Jungle"

Sayid

Sawyer

Claire

Sun

Ana Lucia

Shannon

Dr. Artz

Michael

Of course like all the other Survivors shows there will be a reward challenge and an immunity challenge. Now here is the twist, of course the Castaways will choose who will get voted off but, if you review you can tell me who you want voted off and that will tilt the vote. So there is a reward for reviewing.

Let's start the game now.

This challenge is up for both reward and immunity.

The two teams will start off by opening crates that say explosive, once they do this you will have to take three sticks of dynamite and transport it to the hatch, once you are there you have to blow the hatch door open. The reward is the better campsite and immunity. The losing team will get the cruddy campsite and some one is going to the _ROOM._

Is every one ready?

**Jack:** Let's win this thing!

**Ana Lucia:** Shut it hot one, we're going to kick some butt!

**Artz:** Great now I'm going to blow up again…

**Henry Gale:** Survivors Ready? GO!

(After a neck to neck show down, Artz blowing up from the dynamite, and Hurley freaking out about the numbers. The fuselage team won. Now "The Magical Jungle" is going to tribal council.)

**Henry Gale: **Who will be the first person voted off of Survivor: Lost island? Tune in next episode to find out. And, remember your reviews will help decide! (Anon welcome)

This has been brought to you by Office Depo _Taking care of business_

_A/N - due to time and length I did not go into details. In future chapters I will. We will go into the camps, challenges, and tribal councils. Also Artz is still alive even know he blew up. That goes for all the other characters that died in the show. They are all alive. _


	2. Day 1 pt 2 Survivors Ready?

Hello "The Magical Jungle" (We will now call TMJ) as you come in grab your torches and light them in the fire. The fire represents your time here on the island. Once the flame is out so are you.

**Henry Gale**: So Ana Lucia how do you think your team did on the first challenge?

**Ana Lucia**: We flat out sucked!

**Artz**: Come on Ana we did the best we could…. Wait a second… WHO ARE YOU I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE!

**Ana Lucia**: I was on the tail section ignorance!

**Claire:** Why not we all be friends?

**Ana Lucia**: Can it fluffy one!

**Shannon**: OH MY GOD I BROKE A FRIKEN NAIL! WHERE'S MY BROTHER BOONE! WAIT… YOU'RE THE SELFLESS, ROTTEN, NO HEARTED, GERK WHO SHOT ME. I'M VOTING YOU OFF!

**Ana Lucia**: Well pretty face you see that guy over there?

**Shannon**: Michael?

**Ana Lucia**: He killed me so I guess that makes me entitled to vote him off but maybe I'll just settle for you!

**Sawyer**: Get her Hot Lips!

**Syaid**: Don't add to the party Sawyer.

**Sun**: I just had to be on this team.

**Michael:** He made me shoot you (Michael pointing over to Henry Gale)

**Henry Gale**: Shut it or Walt will go back to our special place…I mean don't accuse other people for you own personal mistakes.

**Henry Gale**: Ok lets begin the votes before someone gets caught in a net!

**Sawyer**: Hey man watch the way you say that it has multiple meanings!

**Artz**: Shut the Heck up you redneck!

**Sawyer**: Quite you damn science teacher!

**Henry Gale:** I MEAN IT ALL OF YOU! IF YOU DON'T NOCK THIS OFF I'M SENDING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TO THE SPECIAL PLACE AND MAKE YOU ALL PART OF MY EXPIRAMEEEE… cough cough cough Ha ha ha Let's just get on to the votes

_**Votes as followed:**_

Syaid: Michael

Sawyer: Michael

Shannon: Ana Lucia

Ana Lucia: Michael

Artz: Sawyer

Michael: Sawyer

Sun: Sawyer

Claire: Ana Lucia

Review votes:

2 Michael, 1 Ana Lucia

**Henry Gale**: The first person voted out of Survivor: Lost Island is Michael. Bring up your torch Michael the tribe had spoken.

**Michael:** Just to let you know Gale, you will never get near my son again.

**Michael:** I'm sorry I killed you Ana Lucia; I wish you understood the circumstances.

**Ana Lucia:** You think that one gun and one bullet is going to stop me? Well THINK AGAIN!

END OF DAY ONE

This has been brought to you by Nationwide – _nationwide is on your side_


	3. Day 2 Find Locke

**Previously on Survivor** – Michael was voted out because of his infamous actions of killing Ana Lucia and Libby. Both the tribe and the reviews said the same thing Kick Michael off! Also, "TMJ" castaway Ana Lucia stirred up both tribal council, and the game with her wild actions and crazy comments. "TF" (The Fuselage) has won the first challenge. But, can they win a second time or will "TMJ" get revenge.

_**At the camp of the Magical Jungle**_

**Artz:** Boy that was interesting!

**Sawyer:** What, the murderer got voted out?

**Artz:** No, Ana Lucia was practically the only women speaking whole tribal council. Actually I think she basically ran tribal council. She has a big mouth.

**Ana Lucia: **What did you say eco nut.

**Sawyer:** Watch it Ana Lucia, I've been hanging low on the wise ass remarks, letting you have some fun, but this takes the cake. I'm the only one who makes up the freakish nicknames!

**Ana Lucia:** What, big boy can't stand someone else kicking you at your own game?

**Sawyer:** You're asking for it!

_**Mean while on the other side of camp**_

**Claire:** I love blueberry muffins Sun, that's my favorite food besides peanut butter.

**Sun:** Really I love blueberry muffins too. What is your favorite garden flower?

**Claire:** I like daises.

**Sun:** Those are pretty.

**Claire:** What about you Shannon?

**Shannon:** I like Sayid.

**Sun**: That's a flower?

**Shannon:** We're talking about flowers?

**_Now let's see what Sayid is doing_**

**Sayid: **I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, that's what I truly want to be.

_**At the camp of The Fuselage**_

**French Chick:** Where's Alex, where's Alex?

_**Mr. Eko walks over and head butts her. She's out for about 5 minutes and then wakes up.**_

**French chick**: Why did you head butt me?

**Mr. Eko:** You were being difficult.

_**A few yards away**_

**Boone:** Boy Jack you're sure are good at "Strip Jack Naked" (the inappropriate name for the card game "Beggar My Neighbor")

**Jack:** Ha ha very funny!

**Kate:** I got the information on the reward challenge.

**Boone:** What does it say?

**Kate:** It says find Locke.

**Charlie:** That's it?

**Kate:** yep that's it.

_**Later that day at the reward challenge**_

**Henry Gale:** Ok plain and simple teams, find Locke. First one to do so wins reward. Do you want to know what you are playing for?

**Both teams:** No

**Henry Gale:** Well to bad your playing for you dinner tonight.

**Ana Lucia:** If I find him on my own I'm not sharing it with any of you!

**Sawyer:** what about me?

**Ana Lucia:** Nope!

**Hurley:** Oh man I'm soooooo hungry right now!

**Henry Gale**: Survivors ready, GO!

**_After 30 minutes no one could find Locke in till Jin came up to Hurley and Jack._**

**Jin:** fo fe run boo ty fo wee wee loooo ( I don't speak Korean)

**Hurley:** What dude?

_**Jin points to the bushes.**_

**Hurley:** Holy crap that is on FAT Boar!

**Jack:** One fat boar… with Locke's compass on its tusks and his pants on the ground…

**Hurley:** Dude that's beyond wrong brother. The pig thing ate Locke.

**Jack: **Didn't see that coming!

**Jin: **ya yo pee bum ha vav zoo

**Hurley:** Right dude… what ever.

_**Jack brought the boar that ate Locke over to Henry Gale, which pronounced this bizarre incident an accidental death. He then said that the boar was the reward meal.**_

**Mr. Eko:** This boar taste like chicken.

**Hurley:** Not bad, could use some salt though.

**Jin:** hooo ka ka ka hoooo

**Charlie: **God, this boar taste great it has extra seasonings in the meat. I love it!

**Hurley:** Dude you do realize that the boar ate Locke right?

**Charlie:** WHAT?

END OF DAY 2

_**Remember to vote for who you want voted off from both teams. Next chapter is tribal council!**_


	4. Day 3 pt 1 Pain in the Butt

**_At the camp of "The fuselage"_**

**Jin:** zoe zo zo pan cope

**Hurley:** What dude you want to hear a joke?

**Jack:** I could use one!

**Charlie:** So can I!

**Hurley:** Ok dudes let me think…hmmm…Ok I got one. There are two penguins sitting in a restaurant, one penguins asked the other penguin to pass the pepper the other penguin said what do you think I am a toaster?

_**Charlie and Jack looked at each other **_

**Jack:** Uhh…that was great Hurley

**Charlie:** Ya man very creative!

_**At the camp of "The magical Jungle"**_

**Sun:** Pink ponies are soo adorable!

**Claire: **I love purple bunnies!

**Sun**: What kinds of animal do you like Artz?

**Artz:** I love green turtles!

**Claire:** You're weird go away!

**Artz:** Looks like I lost another loan to ditect.

**_Back at the camp of "The fuselage"_**

**French Chick:** I found the paper that tells us about the immunity challenge. Is this the immunity that makes us safe from the _sickness_?

**Mr. Eko:** No it is the immunity that makes me safe from you!

**French chick:** That wasn't nice!

**Shannon**: Have you guys heard about Ana Lucia?

**Both French chick and Eko:** No.

**Shannon:** I think sawyer got her drunk or something she's singing!

**Ana Lucia: **I had four biscuits then I ate one, now I have three. I had three biscuits then I ate one, now I have two. I had two biscuits then I ate one, now I have one. (Spongebob)

**French chick:** WOW she's just like me!

**Mr. Eko:** I hope I can vote her off soon!

**_Later that day, at the immunity challenge._**

**Henry Gale:** Ok teams welcome to the immunity challenge. Congrats to TF for their last two victories. Hopefully this time TMJ will win….or not. Anyways this is how it's going to work. In honor of Locke we are going to throw knives at trees…not each other. Your goal is to hit the target. The team with the most hits closes to the targets wins. So, good luck. One more thing, I'm not a target.

**_First up was Jack. He was just one inch from the target. Both teams were doing very well in till Ana Lucia was up. She was the last one up for the day. She threw her knife and instead of hitting the tree she hit Hurley's butt._**

**Hurley:** Dude…

**Ana Lucia:** SUNFLOWERS!

**Sayid:** Jack what is WRONG with her?

**Hurley:** Dude..

**Jack:** Sorry Hurley but I'm not fixing that. And, sawyer what did you do with Ana Lucia?

**Sawyer:** I didn't do anything to her she won't even let me 10 feet away from her.

**Artz:** Sorry my bad… I was playing with chemicals…and well I gave some to her…it should wear off in a coup of hours… days… months… years… decades… centuries… millenniums…never.

**French chick**: Ya, now there's someone I can talk to and will understand me!

**Mr. Eko:** I'm voting that French lady out!

**_Despite Ana Lucia's screw up TMJ did win immunity by half an inch. Both teams were feeling very weird, especially Hurley's butt, because no one was trash talking anyone_.**

**Sawyer:** Ok this has gone long enough! IN YOUR FACE YOU PEE MONKEYS. There's a new sheriff in town. Your faces! Ya! We won. We're awesome! You suck!

**Hurley:** Uhh Jack a little help?

**Jack:** Sorry dude I'm not getting near that thing.

**Henry Gale:** Well it looks like you guys are going to tribal council.

Who will be gone next chapter from "The Fuselage"? Only your votes from your reviews can help decide. See you next chapter…

This has been brought to you by Pull Ups Training Pants – _Mommy wow, I'm a big kid now! _


	5. Day 3 pt 2 Pain in the Butt

**Henry Gale:** Grab your torches sit down and we'll begin…SIT DOWN HURLEY!

**Hurley:** Dude…I can't…

**Henry Gale:** Why not?

**Hurley:** Because I got a knife in my butt, remember?

**Henry Gale:** Jack! Why haven't you done anything about this?

**Jack:** Hey man for the last time I'm NOT pulling anything out of Hurley's BUTT!

**Henry Gale:** Fine I'll call the medics…stupid doctor.

_**3 hours later**_

**_Someone walks into tribal council_**

**Henry Gale:** Finally…you think you could've gotten here any sooner?

**Medic:** Sorry my watch was working.

**Henry Gale:** What?

**Medic:** Quite, I'm reading.

_**Reading chart notes**_

**Medic:** Who's Hurley?

**Hurley:** Dude…

**_Reading further into chart notes_**

**Medic:** Why the hell is there a knife stuck in you butt?

**Hurley:** well dude…

**Medic:** Shut up, I don't care!

**Jack:** Wait I know you!

**Medic:** Ha ha well loser long time no see. Isn't this a wonderful surprise?

**Jack:** You've always been a jerk HOUSE!

**House: **You've always been a moron SHEPPARD!

**Charlie:** How do they know each other?

**French Chick:** They know each other from cheerleading practice!

**Mr. Eko:** Shut up old women!

**French Chick:** I still don't like you!

**Mr. Eko:** I never liked you!

**Kate:** How do you two know each other?

**House:** From preschool!

**Jack: **The jerk took my sandwich and called me a booger!

**House:** No you took my jello and called me a tooter!

**Jack:** That is such a lie you old fart.

**House:** You do know Jack I can kick your butt with my cane!

**Jack:** Bring it on you crumpled geezer!

**House:** Meow! hiss!

**Jack:** grrrr! Woof!

**Boone:** This should be interesting…

**French chick:** Don't fight with him uncle, violence is not the answer!

**Eko:** Even know I agree with you on that old woman, I still need to do this!

**_Eko head butts French Chick and she is out. Meanwhile, Jack and House were still cat fighting, literally. Then both of them fell down the stairs in a big tumbling ball of mad doctors._**

**Henry Gale:** Well that was unfortunate…was anyone going to vote off Jack?

**Everyone but the French chick since she was out from the head butt:** No.

**Hurley:** Dude…what about my butt?

**Henry Gale:** Don't look at me. I did all I could. Besides pulling knifes out of peoples butts are not in my contract. Deal with it later Hurley not now!

**_Then they all heard: THUMP THUMP THUMP you're as weak as Sawyer House! Your face Jack!_**

**Jin:** loop ya ya rew fo nut vooz (remember I don't know Korean)

**Henry Gale:** He's right we should move on to the votes.

**Boone**: You know Korean?

**Henry Gale:** No, but let's move on shall we, Law and Order is on at 8 and I don't want to miss it!

_Votes are as followed:_

**Jack:** ?

**Kate:** Boone

**Hurley:** Jack

**Jin:** French Chick

**Boone:** French Chick

**Mr. Eko:** French Chick

**Charlie:** French Chick

**Crazy French Chick:** ?

_**Review Votes:**_

3 French Chick

1 Boone

**Henry Gale:** Can someone drag the French Chick up so I can put out the torch.

**Mr. Eko:** It would be my honor!

**Henry Gale:** The tribe has spoken.

**Henry Gale:** Good Night. I'm going to get a can of spicy flavored spam, some ranch, and mustard, then makes some of Gale's famous hotdogs then I'll eat them while watching Law and Order!

Hurley: Dude…not cool.

The tribe mates were walking down the stairs. Hurley was still no were near getting his butt fixed. Jack and House still fight over something that happened over 25+ years ago, Eko crying in joy about the results of the votes and Jin telling pointless jokes in Korean that no one understood…isn't life just great?

This has been brought to you by Geico; _I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!_

**_Here are the updated teams so far:_**

"**The Fuselage"**

Jack

Kate

Hurley

Jin

Boone

Mr. Eko

Charlie

"**The Magical Jungle"**

Sayid

Sawyer

Claire

Sun

Ana Lucia

Shannon

Dr. Artz


	6. Day 4 Matrix

**Previously on Survivor –** Jack was unable to vote because of his girly cat fight with the unexpected HOUSE, as the medic, who I may remind you still hasn't helped Hurley with his pain in the butt problem. Also the French Chick was voted off last episode but she wouldn't know because she was unconscious by another head butt from Mr. Eko.

_**Sobbing sobbing crying weeping yelling**_

**Charlie**: Why are you upset Eko?

**Boone:** Ya man, don't get mad get glad.

**Charlie:** That was just stupid and unhelpful Boone.

**Boone:** Sorry

**Boone:** So what's wrong?

**Mr. Eko:** I'm going thought head butt withdrawals…What am I supposed to do now?

**_Sniff sniff sniff_**

**Boone:** uhhhh…

**Eko:** Thanks for volunteering!

**_Eko head butts Boone. Boone falls to the ground and is now unconscious_**.

**Charlie:** oh well…

_**On the other side of camp**_

**Kate:** Nice black eye.

**Jack: **I threw House into the ocean with the man eating sharks after he punched me.

**Kate:** Did he get eaten.

**Jack**: Nope, the _thinks he's so hot_ life guard saved him. I think his name is David Hasselholf.

**Kate:** That's too bad…

**Kate:** What to sing Karaoke with Jin?

**Jack**: Sure.

**_At the camp of The Magical Jungle_**

**Claire:** At night I fear of the boogie man. He might pop out from under the bed or under the stone I sleep on.

**Sun:** What shall we do if that happens?

**Claire:** Hit him with this blender I made.

**Shannon:** you made a blender…

**Sayid:** I got the mail for the reward challenge.

**Shannon:** Sayid what a pleasant surprise.

**Sun: **What does it say?

**Sayid:** It says "electric dodge ball"

**Claire:** What does that mean?

**Shannon:** Hi Sayid, he he he he.

**Sayid:** I don't know…you ok Shannon?

**Shannon:** Now that you are here, he he he.

**Sayid:** ummm I'm leaving now, don't follow me either…

_**Later that day at the reward challenge**_

**Henry Gale:** After a night of watching Law and Order I feel so much better. Now if you read the mail it said something about electricity, and dodge ball. Well my friends we are playing dodge ball with electric stun guns like I use on you…I mean that I use on….fungus that grows in my bathroom…anyways the object to the game is to shoot your opponents with the stun guns and the last one standing wins reward for their team. You want to know what you playing for?

**Ana Lucia:** I don't think I'm In Kansas anymore!

**Henry Gale:** ummm…right…your playing for these…

**Charlie:** Virgin Mary statues!

**Henry Gale:** Ya I found them in the jungle I thought they were cute…

**Charlie:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….ok so it might me a good thing at some point but…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

**Henry Gale:** Chill out its not like they have drugs in them or something!

**Charlie:** Right….

**Henry Gale:** Anyways let's get to the challenge.

**_For 3 hours the two teams shot and dodged the stun guns bullets. After another 20 minutes only 3 were standing Hurley and Jack from "The Fuselage" and Sayid from "The Magical Jungle"._**

**Sayid:** Sorry fat guy but this is for you.

**_Sayid pulled the trigger and aimed for Hurley's stomach. BOOM the bullet came out of the capsule then the wind kick up and blew the bullet into Hurley's face. Zap!_**

**Hurley:** Dude…I can't feel my face any more…or my butt.

**Sayid:** Well, that unfortunate…sorry Hurley.

**Hurley:** Dude…I guess that means I'm out…

**Sayid:** All right Jack this is for you!

**Sawyer:** Shoot that Doc Sayid!

**_Sayid once again pulls the trigger and the bullets come out flying. He shoots it off a few more times making about 6 or 7 of these bullets fly towards Jack._**

SLOW MOTION

**Jack:** NOOOOOOO!

**_Jack bends backwards dodging all the bullets then picks up his stun gun and does a cartwheel shooting the bullets at Sayid. (Matrix) Sayid gets hit with the bullets and is now out. Jack is the winner._**

End of SLOW MOTION

**Hurley:** Jack you are the one….

**_Everyone then bows down to the new "Neo" that will eventually save Zion and become a hero again. Kate will then become Trinity and Sawyer will be Agent Smith._**

**Jack:** I can dodge bullets…are you ok Sayid…

**Sayid:** Ya man that was really cool, the shock doesn't hurt all that much.

**Henry Gale:** Looks like you guys win another challenge, here are you Virgin Mary dolls.

Charlie: NOOOOOOO!

**_Charlie grabs the statutes and throw them into the ocean._**

**Jin:** yo yo tooo ha rew go boo jun tee!

**Ana Lucia:** I think we're over the rainbow now!

**Hurley:** Dude this day has made no sense to me at all…my butt…my face…

**_Jack then flies back to camp; now that he is the_** _one_ **_he's been given a trench coat and sun glasses._**

END OF DAY 4

Here is some status for those of you who need a review of the two teams. Remember you can still vote for who you want to be voted off on the 6th day. You can vote as many times as you want. Artz does have an overwhelming number of votes so far just to let all of you know.

"**The Fuselage"**

Jack

Kate

Hurley

Jin

Boone

Mr. Eko

Charlie

"**The Magical Jungle"**

Sayid

Sawyer

Claire

Sun

Ana Lucia

Shannon

Dr. Artz


	7. Day 5 Pirates of the Caribbean

**CHARGE! GET HIM!**

**Artz:** No wait! It should wear off soon, don't stuff me like a pig and eat me like you did Locke!

**Sawyer:** Shut up you Bill Anye' wantabe!

**Sayid:** Game Over!

**Artz:** But why?

**Ana Lucia:** Egg Nog ate the tambourine!

**Sayid:** That's why!

**Sawyer**: I liked her better when she was a crazy hard ass woman!

**Artz:** I told you they should wear off soon, the chemicals that I gave her a few days ago were weak!

**Sayid:** You also told us that they may never wear off!

**Sawyer:** READY TEAM, AIM, FIRE!

**_The tribe all threw rotten bananas at Artz._**

**Artz:** NOOO! I'm allergic to those! AWWWWWW!

**_At the camp of The Fuselage_**

_**Jack was running up coconut trees and enjoying his new title of "The One." Then Hurley walked over.**_

**Hurley**: Yo Dude?

**Jack:** Yes Morpheus…I mean Hurley…sorry…One day I'm throwing punches at House and then the next day I'm some freedom fighter that is going to save the "real world" from the machines and sentinels….never mind…what can I do for you?

**Hurley: **Well…can you use your new powers to pull the knife out of my butt, and let me feel my face again?

**Jack:** Sure, I don't need to get any were near your butt so its no problem.

**_Jack moved his eyebrows side to side, with a grin he raised his right hand and with extreme focus and internal powers pulled the knife out, and gave Hurley feeling in his face again without getting anywhere near him._**

**Hurley:** Thanks dude I'm gonna make sushi with Jin now.

**Jack:** Ok dude glad to help.

**_Jack was about to fly away but then he fell flat onto his face into the sand._**

**Godly Voice From The Heavens:** Jack you got a debt to pay. TIME'S UP! You're a marked man Jack Sparrow!

**Jack:** What?

**Godly Voice From The Heavens:** You're Jack Sparrow right?

**Jack:** No, I'm Jack Sheppard.

**Godly Voice From The Heavens:** Oh…….explains why when I gave that other Jack with the really awesome facial hair a magical stethoscope he ran around shouting " Look I've got a shiny thingy"

**Jack:** Ok………………………………….why are my powers suddenly gone God?

**Godly Voice From The Heavens:** Ha ha ha I'm not God; I'm just an underpaid narrator. Your powers are gone because the writer didn't want to write about them any more. I'm I smart or what baby, I'm on fire!

**Jack:** Ok……………………………guess this means I'm making sushi with Jin and Hurley.

**_Jack skips off_**

**_At camp of The Magical Jungle_**

**Claire:** Here's the mail. "Here's the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail when it comes I want to wail MAIL!"

**Sun:** WOW! You watch Blues Clues!

**Shannon:** What does it say?

**Claire:** It says luck…

**Sun:** Like when Artz puked from all of those rotten bananas!

Giggle Giggle Giggle

**Shannon:** Sayid…now that something to giggle about!

**_Later that day_**

**Henry Gale:** Welcome to the immunity challenge.

**Ana Lucia:** Your FACE Henry Gale, it's GROWING, you better hide it before it EXPLODES!

**Henry Gale:** Eko?

**Eko:** Yes.

**Henry Gale:** Head butt her please.

**Eko:** OK

_**Eko head butts Ana Lucia. **_

**Henry Gale:** Ok well, Today's immunity challenge is simple; it says luck on the info mail thing….heads or tails Kate.

**Kate:** ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………heads

**_Henry Gale flips a coin. Its heads _**

**Henry Gale:** Do you want to go to tribal council or do you want to go to a hot spring spa with the guy of your choice.

**Kate:** I want to go to the spa baby!

**Henry Glee:** Looks like the Magical Jungle is going to tribal council.

**Henry Gale:** So what guy are you going to go with Kate it can also be someone from the other team.

Kate:…………………………………………………

**Boone:** This should be interesting.

**Henry Gale:** Don't make the decision now Kate, wait in till tomorrow.

Kate……………………………………..Jack………………………………….Sawyer………………………………………………………………………………………………..

END OF DAY 5

_**A/N:** Hello everyone thanks to all of my reviewers! I'm thinking that the castaways may never vote again and I will **ONLY** use the votes coming from you guys. Of course if I don't get enough votes from the reviews I'll let the castaways vote on top of the few review votes I do get (like I did before). **BUT**, if I do get enough votes then you guys will be in the hot seat completely! The poor castaways have to now convince you to let them stay in the game. This will start next chapter with tribal council. Also you can tell me if you want Kate to go with Jack or Sawyer to the spa thing. Continue voting! Tribal Council is next!_

This has been brought to you by Capital One _what's in your wallet? _


	8. Day 6 pt 1 Spa

**A/N:** _Hello to all. I'm sorry for not updating sooner. I'm in honors classes in school and since it has the fancy name the teachers decide, hey why not I give out a summer book report and make them write 10 pages explaining how the symbols in the story relate to the theme of the book. While I do this they'll wear a coconut bra and drinking martinis in Alaska….the story of my life…..If any of you were wondering I'm reading the book On the Road….I don't like this book very much…Day 6 will have two parts, just to let you know. Mainly because of time and length…but please still tell me in a review who you want voted off on the 9th day…the more the merrier. Any ways, on to the story._

**Ana Lucia:** NSYNC my sink baby!

**Sawyer:** What the hell! I HATE YOU! I wish I'd never got caught in a net with you!

**Sayid:** EKOOOOOOO!

_**A coconut fell out from one of the trees and broke open Eko came out of it like a genie**_

**Eko:** I'm genie Eko, manger of the Head Butt Company how may I help you.

_**Sayid gave a confused look at Eko**_

**Sayid:** uhhhhh….head but her.

**Eko:** It would be my honor.

_**Eko head butts Ana Lucia then snaps his fingers and disappears**_

**Sawyer:** You don't see that every day.

**_At the camp of The Fuselage_**

**_Dr. Jack found a latex glove_**

_**Squeak squeak squeak**_

**Charlie:** uhh Jack what are you doing?

**Jack:** I'm starting a band I'll be playing the electrical latex glove want to join?

**Charlie:** Sure

_**Hurley walks over**_

**Hurley:** Can I join?

**Jack:** Sure. What do you want to play in our band?

**Hurley:** Well I want to be a rapper. I want my name to be Hobo Hurley.

_**Then they hear I WANT TO BE LAMA LOCKE!**_

**Jack:** Locke?

**Locke:** Yes it's me, I love being dead…can I join the band?

**Jack:** Well we have a bloody rock god on base, a Doctor on the electric latex glove, Hobo Hurley as the rapper and Lama Locke as…..what.

**Locke:** Opera baby!

**Jack:** I guess…

**Charlie: **We can call ourselves the Reggie Buzz Peaches! I want our first song to be about Claire. And, it's for Claire…I want to prove my love for her.

**Jack:** OK…

**_Later that day at tribal council_**

**Henry Gale: **Ok so both teams are here today because as of now you are merge…your

Team will be called….I don't know yet. Also you've lost the power to vote and it has gone to the reviewers.

**Boone:** Crap I hope I'm hot enough to save my butt.

**Henry Gale:** Right…

Votes are as followed:

Jack – 1

Hurley – 1

Shannon – 2

Boone – 2

Eko – 1

Artz – 11

Jin – 3

Ana Lucia – 3

Sayid – 1

Sun: 1

Claire – 1

**Henry Gale:** Well…it looks like-

CRUNCH

**Charlie:** Crap that Polar Bear just ate Henry Gale!

**Polar Bear:** In till he comes out the other end I will be the host…Artz bring up your torch you are the third person voted out of Survivor: The Lost Island. The tribe has spoken.

**Artz:** Curse you Doctor Phil!

**Polar Bear:** Kate the votes are as followed for your spa getaway.

Jack – 7

Sawyer – 5

**Kate:** It looks like I'm going with Jack

**_Jack smiles then looks at Kate_**

**Polar Bear:** Ok go away now after eating that dude, whatever his name was I need to take some Gas X.

_**To Be Continued…**_

**A/N:** _Hi again, thanks for the requests that I got, more PB&J (more of it will be featured in later chapters) and for the Polar Bear to be host. I love requests and if you have any feel free to put them in a review, I will consider all of them. Also give me a new team name for the castaways the ones I like the best I'll feature in the story and then you can vote on them. I need it by the 9th day. You can give me more than one name. The Spa is coming up Jaters, and don't worry Skaters I'll do something for you too, sometime in a future chapter._

This has been brought to you by Burger King _Have it your way_ (I don't eat fast food)

Updated Team:

Jack

Kate

Hurley

Jin

Boone

Mr. Eko

Charlie

Sayid

Sawyer

Claire

Sun

Ana Lucia

Shannon


	9. Day 6 pt 2 Spa

**A/N:** _God I really need to update this sooner….Hey people! The new Survivor is well interesting, not really the grouping but the personalities of the people, like cowboy or Nate or ever that one heavy metal dude who's really lazy….anyway I'm happy about owning the first and now second season of Lost! I got it the first day it came out! Well I don't know what else to say other than I'm currently listening to "Jump" and next is "Make your own kind of music" Yes, yes the second one is from Lost…he he he I'm so obsessed :)_

_Meanwhile at the place whereever the host goes_

**Polar Bear:** God man that Henry Gale guy was like disgusting!

**Jeff Probst:** Uhhh Ok….

**Polar Bear:** What am I not fascinating or something?

**Jeff Probst:** Well you kinda got me hog tied up on a stick and you are attempting to cook and then eat me…kinda like that one pirate oh what's his name Jack Pigeon!

**Polar Bear:** No I think its Jack finch….

_Meanwhile at the Spa_

**Jack:** I started a band with the guys….

**Kate:** Wow what's it called?

**Jack:** Reggie Buzz Peaches!

**Kate:** uhh that's a sexy name….I think….

_Suddenly some really manly man popped out of no where_

**Manly Man:** Welcome to Heavenly Spas the home of the over fried muffin with the spilt mustard on it

**Jack:** You crazy lunatic get out of my face I'm not fat so don't call me that!

**Kate:** uhhh that's sexy too….?

**Manly Man:** Fine if you don't like a man with a mullet then just say so…

_Jack and Kate went into the waiting room_

**Elvis Presley:** Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me…

**Amelia Airheart (or however her name is spelled):** Hit me baby one more time

**Kate:** Aren't they dead

**Elvis:** No man we're in area 51 just like the big foot, he's over there

**Jack:** That's Martha Stewart

**Amelia Ariheart:** Well that's the Yeti

**Kate:** That's Jenny Craig

**Jack:** What kinda spa is this?

**Voice:** Jack and Kate from Survivor?

**Jack:** That's us

**Kate:** yep

_On the Island_

**Eko:** you don't love me you don't even care oh ya I think I'm going to Boston…

**Hurley:** Yo dude you suck at singing…your not with the bad either

**Eko:** I'm practicing for my engagement

**Charlie:** You're getting married

**Eko:** Ya to Brittney Spears

**Charlie:** That person on the oatmeal box?

_Back to the Host Place_

**Polar Bear:** Its Jack chickadee

**Jeff Probst:** No its Jack wobbler!

**Polar Bear:** You Ass it Jack Robin!

_On the Island_

**Ana Lucia:** Weeeee my pants are on too tight let me make the island pretty!

_Ha ha ha giggle giggle giggle giggle mawhahah_

**Claire:** Why's my face covered in florescent colors AWWWW MY HUMANITY!

**Shannon:** Claire, it looks better now…………………………

**Ana Lucia:** He he he I hear the colors on you face….

**Shannon:** Seriously it looks better; if Ana Lucia hadn't colored it I would've shaved it off!

_Spa_

**Jack:** I never heard of a mayonnaise bath before

**Manly Man (he came back):** Well skinny, it's all of the rage

**Jack:** Are you calling me anorexic

**Kate:** And lemon eye pieces?

**Manly Man:** Complements of the chief!

_Manly Man points to Dr. Phil_

**Jack:** OK?

_Host Place_

**Polar Bear:** It's Jack Jay

**Jeff Probst:** No it's Jack Pigeon!

**Polar Bear:** You've already said that!

_Moments later_

**Polar Bear:** I should go discuss a new tribe name with them losers…..

_Polar Bear Flies away_

**Jeff Probst:** Ummm, a little help…

**Man:** Need Help?

**Jeff Probst:** Yes please

_Man unties Jeff_

**Jeff Probst:** Thanks…uhhh..

**Man:** Jack Sparrow

**Jeff Probst:** Jack Sparrow?

**Jack Sparrow:** Yes mate Captain Jack Sparrow

**Jeff Probst:** No you're name is Jack Hummingbird….not Jack Sparrow

**Jack Sparrow:** It's Sparrow

**Jeff Probst:** No it's……….

_Tribal Meeting_

**Polar Bear:** Sorry people I'm late because I was fighting with an old man…but let's discuss a new tribal name

_My Top three favorite Names from reviews:_

The other others

Those people from the show that aren't those evil guys

Cardboard Box Company

**Sayid:** Where's Jack and Kate…..

**Polar Bear:** Damn I forgot them at the cannibal eating spa

**Sawyer:** WHAT!

**Polar Bear:** Crap!

_At the spa_

**Jack**: Wow there setting up a big warm pot for us Kate

**Kate:** Ya and this BBQ sauce lotion is the greatest…….

In till tomorrow

**A/N**_ Remember to vote for one of the team names, who you want voted off, and any requests you might have for future chapters_

This has been brought to you by my love for Steve Irwin…Crickey


	10. Day 7 Rescue is on its way!

**A/N:** _Hello again. Here we are at day 7. It's been one week on this game show so far and how long have I been writing this? I wrote a new story its called The Mafia, I got a lot of hits but no reviews…I guess I'm not much of a drama writer….I'll stick with the humorous stories then. Enjoy!_

**Jack:** I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt…..

**Kate:** Uhh you can stop now…

**Jack: **I'm just so pumped up Kate, these beautiful people carrying us on this board thing, taking us to this warm pot, chatting things I can't understand! Ah yes I feel like the god of crab cakes!

**Kate:** Then what am I the goddess of Jack?

**Jack:** The goddess of Tofu!

**Kate:** uhhh yum?

_Back to deciding the new tribe name_

**Sawyer**: The woman I love will get eaten by human eating cannibals with that Barbie looking guy name Jack!

**Polar Bear:** It's not my fault its, its Charles Dickens fault!

**Shannon:** He's my dad giggle giggle giggle

**Polar Bear:** I'll send my super secrete team that no one knows about but I'll tell you secretly anyways but don't tell anyone because it's a super secret!

**Ana Lucia:** Who are these super secrete hotties? giggle

**Shannon:** My cousins giggle giggle giggle

_Back at the spa_

**Jack:** Boy Kate this pot sure is warm

**Kate**: Yeah it's nice

_Jack leaned over to give Kate a kiss but before he could-_

Stop right there in the air

We aren't nice so think twice

Don't you stare sent by bear

Ya ya ya we are the Kun fu Japanese Ninja "Assassinatetors" NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

**Oprah:** Like "word" what do you want "word"

**Ninja one:** Polar Bear sent us to save god of crab cake and goddess of Tofu

**Ninja Two:** Give me them hi ya!

**Dr. Phil:** Get away from my dinner!

**Jack:** I'm not athletica Anorexia!

**Kate:** Dinner?

**Manly Man:** Crap my spa is ruined!

**Ninja One:** Prepare to be satirized….BY SUSHI

_Slap boop nonk fee foo toop le le le slam poop_

**Manly Man**: My kidney!

**Elvis:** My spleen!

**Ninja Two:** Come on my gods the Polar Bear awaits

**Jack:** I'm not OCD!

**Kate:** Come on Jack lets listen to those ninjas

_Back to the island_

**Polar Bear:** uhh hi guys umm sorry…

**Jack:** That's ok it's not like you left us with cannibals or something

**Kate:** Uhh yeah he did

**Jack:** Oh I thought that was Shannon's family reunion…

**Polar Bear:** Well to make it up to all or youl there won't be any challenges for reward or immunity. I'll give all of you reward and Jack and Kate will get immunity. You have tomorrow off to do whatever you want and then the next day we will have tribal council.

**Charlie:** Ok, now I can sing my new song to Claire!

**Eko:** What is our reward?

**Polar Bear:** Here open this box

_All of them open the box together_

**Sayid:** Sushi?

**Ninjas:** NO SUSHI FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

_The ninja started to attack everyone and sing their theme song_

END OF DAY 7

**A/N:** _Those ninjas our mine and copy righted by me and me only! I made them up they're awesome. Maybe I should write the story behind them and post it on here so all of you can read about their ancient history._

By the way the new name for the team (by popular choice from reviewers) is:

_The Other Others_

Who will get voted off on day 9? I don't know Review to Vote!

This has been brought to you by the governor's election Vote Dougie he's smarter then you think! (My cat)


	11. Day 8 Mr Eko's Story Time!

A/N: _Here we are at day 8! Wow time flies, I started in July and here we are in October…cant get over this…sorry just cant believe 8 days have gone by in my story and in real time its been 3 months. "Broken metatarsal in your face!" (Sports Med. Inside joke)…a metatarsal for those of you who don't know is the bone in your foot that connects your phalanges and cuneiforms…right? I think so. The point is there is no metatarsal in you face…ha ha ha…I'm done. Its almost as dumb as to say you have a Jones Fx in your hand…when a Jones Fx (fracture) can only occur in you foot………….just nod you head and smile people go with it……. _

**Mr. Eko:** Gather around People its time for Mr. Eko's story time! (Said in his funny little accent….that goes for all of his dialogue)

**Boone:** Boy howdy this is the type of day off that I've been waiting for woooo weee

**Jack:** German engineers in da HOOOOOUSE!

**Charlie:** word

**Shannon:** giggle giggle giggle giggle ha ha ha he he he he he he he hey Sayid will ya stroke me hair and call I pretty

**Sayid:** Why are you talking like that?

**Ana Lucia:** NO ONE MOVE I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!

**Sawyer:** No way you're pregnant!

**Ana Lucia:** YES!….no wait, I just wanted to tell you Jin got food poisoning from the sushi we all got for reward!

**Jack:** This looks like a job for DR. JACK

_Heavenly lights shine on Jack while heavenly voices sing_

**Mr. Eko:** Wait my children we must listen to Mr. Eko's story first then we can help the dying man haven't ya all heard of taking care of priorities first?

**Jack:** You're right must take care of the most important thing first then do the things that can wait later

**Sun:** JACK JACK my husband throwing up I think he's dying must you help him oh Dr. Jack save him!

**Jack:** I have to listen to Eko first its more important!

**Sun:** Your right Jin can wait lets hear your story

**Shannon:** giggle giggle giggle

Mr. Eko: Evil women must you interrupt me and my story telling

_Mr. Eko picks up his stick and swings it, hits Shannon, and Shannon goes flying. She ends up landing in Congo were she becomes a heroin dealer and cant give blood cuz she got a blood transplant in Austria…. _

**Hurley:** Go Eko its ya birthday we're gonna party like its ya birthday!

**Mr. Eko:** Ok my people listen up; remember those little ninjas that gave us all a good whippin?

**Jack:** You mean Shannon's distant uncles twice removed?

**Eko:** Yeah something like that…well anyways I know the ancient history of them. You see there sacred and holy to the god and goddess of the freezer!

**Claire:** NO WAY

**Eko:** oh yes my child…and here is how the tail goes

Long, long ago there was an ancient temple. In this temple lived the God of Crab Cakes and the Goddess of Tofu. They lived in a peaceful nation until the Macadamias attack. With their Peanut soldiers and Cashew warriors, the peaceful nation was destroyed. The only thing left standing was the ancient temple. The God and Goddess had only one choice to save there beloved home. And, that was to send out their super secret team that no one knew about until now, Ninja One and Ninja Two. The two Ninjas defeated the Macadamias and shouted out their victory cry, NO SUSHI FOR YOU! The God and Goddess granted the two heroes with the temple and never ending life. The God of Crab Cakes and Goddess of Tofu left this world for their original home in the freezer.

THE END…or is it?

**Kate:** Wow. How old is this tail again?

**Eko:** hmmm I believe my sister that it is…….1567 and 3\17th years old.

**Jack:** Dude that is older then Kate!

**Sawyer:** Dude that older then you too! (Mocking him)

**Claire:** Hey Charlie is Jack acting a bit different lately or is it just me?

**Charlie:** Hmmmm

**Eko:** No my children we must be good to one another if we're going to listen to another one of Mr. Eko stories ok?

**Charlie:** Of course…but before we leave I must sing my song that was written by the band Reggie Buzz Peaches that somehow got written in a past chapter that Blue Panda never talked about.

**Jin:** HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOIK!

**Sun:** He says he can't breathe Jack!

**Jack:** This is our priority remember?

**Sun:** Silly me sorry Jack

**Charlie:** Well Claire this is for you

_Charlie takes a breath here it goes_-

**Polar Bear**: Jack you got to help me! AWWWWWWW the pain!

**Jack:** Charlie was just about to be romantic and you interrupted him!

**Polar Bear:** Please help me so much pain must get help please please please!

**Sun:** Uh jack my husband isn't breathing any more

**Jack:** Well this sucks…………..

Boone: Are least we're not in a gorilla cave….

End of Day 8

**A/N:** Tune in next time for a Jackish medical, tribal council, Sawyers seam high, special guess appearance, action pack exploding bicycle, Hurley with a facial mask and more episode….why am I giving you insight on my next chapter?

REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR WHO YOU WANT VOTED OFF (yes Shannon is still vote-able)

This has been brought to you by GMC German engineers in da HOUSE….I like Mr. Z as well

OTHER OTHERS

Jack

Kate

Hurley

Jin

Boone

Mr. Eko

Charlie

Sayid

Sawyer

Claire

Sun

Ana Lucia

Shannon


	12. Day 9 Jack Attack!

**A/N:** _I feel as if I neglected you all…I'm sorry I had writers block. I wrote this chapter and then hated it so I deleted it and couldn't think of anything else. Then I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it and Happy Holidays! I got a Lost iTunes card and the Ellen Degeneres DVD-licious DVD for Christmas and a few other things, what did you all get? _

**Sun:** Jack please help my husband

**Polar Bear**: please help me…

**Jack:** Ok let me call back up, give me a sec.

_Jeopardy theme song_

**Jack:** Hello is this Ebay? Great, I wanted to place an order for a doctor that can help me _fix_ some random people and I need him/her in a few seconds. Great thanks!

_Three Two One_

_A cardboard box appeared _

_Jack then opened it_

**Mr. McDreamy:** Uhh…I'm Dr. Derek Shepherd, did you call me?

**Sun:** Ohh hot guy!

**Boone:** Mr. McDreamy! Never mind…

**Mr. McDreamy thoughts:** ha ha…that's bit weird…

**Mr. McDreamy:** Please call me Dr. Shepherd

**Jack:** Wait a sec. I'm Dr. Shepherd

**Mr. McDreamy:** No I'm Dr. Shepherd

**Jack:** No me!

**Jack Sparrow:** I make my appearance once again in this story! I'm Captain Jack-

**Jack:** No I'm Jack…we sorta kinda fought over this a few chapters ago remember?

**Jack Sparrow:** No.

**Mr. McDreamy**: I though you were Shepherd

**Jack:** I am Shepherd

**Jack Sparrow:** I guess that means I'm Jack!

**Jack:** No I'm Jack Shepherd!

**Hurley:** Dude say what! I though you were George Clooney.

Cricket cricket cricket

**George Clooney:** No I'm George Clooney I play a Doctor on ER named Doug Ross…now I work in a hospital in Seattle

**Mr. McDreamy:** No I'm from Seattle!

**George Clooney:** No I'm From Seattle!

**Hurley:** No Jack is George Clooney

**Jack:** No I'm Shepherd

**Jack Sparrow**: No I'm Jack!

_Suddenly the Polar Bear and Jin became better because no one cared any more_

**Ana Lucia: **Is any one gonna stop them or what…

**Mr. Eko:** Na leave them its good for their soul…sorta

**Charlie:** Didn't you die?

**Mr. Eko:** Uh yeah just don't tell the readers that cuz I don't want to get voted off…

**Mr. McDreamy:** I'm Shepherd and that's final, besides I'm the best doctor

**Jack:** I'm Shepherd and I'm a better doctor then you

**Hurley:** Jack your George Clooney

**George Clooney:** I'm George Clooney, and I play a better doctor then all of you, besides you just called Jack George Clooney.

**Jack Sparrow:** I'm not George Clooney I'm Jack and guess what I'm the best doctor

**Jack:** Dude you're not a Doctor.

**Jack Sparrow:** oh yeah the hip bone is connected to the funny bone, in your faces

Cricket Cricket Cricket

**All three of these very frustrated doctors who obviously have to much time on their hands because they are fighting over which names are whose and which doctor is the best doctor and totally missed Ash and Pikachu running by screaming at Brock cuz he stole their rice:** You're not a doctor.

**Jack:** and I'm Jack

**Hurley**: No you're George

**George Clooney:** Dude I'm George, I'm the doctor that works in Seattle.

**Mr. McDreamy:** I'm the one who works in Seattle!

**Ichiro:** I work in Seattle I hit baseballs for a living!

**Jack Sparrow:** I stole a baseball once.

**Jack:** You're not Jack and Mr. McDreamy you're not Shepherd and I'm not George Clooney

**Hurley:** Yes you are

**Jack Sparrow:** No you're not

**Mr. McDreamy:** I'm Shepherd

**George Clooney:** You're right! I'm George!

**Shannon:** You mean George Bush?

**George Clooney:** No

**Sayid:** Curious George?

**George Clooney:** NO

**Kate:** No my dad…wait my dad isn't named George…never mind

**Polar Bear:** Shut up! Its 15 o' clock and it time for tribal council

**Charlie:** What about my song

**Polar bear:** (sigh) Tomorrows reward challenge is and American idol challenge best person with the best song wins reward…

**Charlie:** Yes!

**Polar Bear:** So can I read the votes

**Jack:** I'm Jack, I'm Shepherd

**McDreamy:** In your dreams!

**Shannon:** McDreamy….in your dreams…te he he he

**Votes are as followed**

_Shannon 7_

_Sawyer 3_

_Ana Lucia 1_

_Jin 1_

_Jack 1_

_Jeff Probst (original host) 1_

**Polar Bear:** Looks like you Shannon

**Shannon:** I never liked your nails anyways…

**Polar Bear:** Yeah Ok…the tribe has spoken

_The Jacks, Shepherds, and Doctors continued to fight until Dr. George House hit them all with his cane because if Jack Sparrow could have another guess appearance then why couldn't he, besides if we focus hard enough Dr. House looks like Santa…_

END OF DAY 9

REMEMBER TO VOTE, THE SLATE IS CLEAN SO WHOSE ON THAT CHOPPING BLOCK NEXT!

**This has been brought to you by All State** – _are you in good hands_

OTHER OTHERS

Jack

Kate

Hurley

Jin

Boone

Mr. Eko

Charlie

Sayid

Sawyer

Claire

Sun

Ana Lucia

**A/N:** _I got Charlie's song but if any of you have requests for songs for the other tribe mates then let me know…any other comments or suggestions are welcome. See ya next time. _


	13. Day 10 American Idol

**A/N: Kah kah kah kah kah kah! That's what Ellen Degeneres says when she first starts her show, so I figured I'd do the same for my story. Kah kah kah right back at ya!**

**Helicopter Chick:** Isso não é impossível eles encontrou 815 oceanic lá era nenhum sobrevivente... (Portuguese)

**Hurley:** What?

**Helicopter Chick:** Quello è impossibile ha trovato 815 oceanici là era superstiti... (Italian)

**Hurley:** ….

**Helicopter Chick:** Das ist sie fand ozeanische 815 dort waren keine Überlebenden... unmöglich (German)

**Hurley:** Really, I don't understand you

**Helicopter Chick:** Eso es imposible ellos encontró 815 oceánicos allí no era ningún sobreviviente... (Spanish)

**Hurley:** That's impossible they found Oceanic flight 815 and there were no survivors!!!!!! WHAT!

**Boone:** Yeah didn't ya hear about that? Also that "_one eye other,_" he's alive now, lets not forget that Locke had killed him sooooooo….. be expecting my glamorous sexy reappearance!

_Sniff sniff sniff Sobbing_

**Hurley:** Locke?

**Locke:** sniff sniff yeah?

**Hurley:** Why are you crying?

**Locke:** Because the producers made such a big deal with disclosing the father of Sun's baby.

**Boone:** So.

**Locke:** So, I thought I was going to be the father!

**Hurley:** Dude….bad images….ahhhh!

_Meanwhile at the beach wasting time until the reward challenge and/or Armageddon _

**Sawyer:** I'm gonna beat you at ping pong again Jack As-

**Jack:** Quiet Sawyer…you….butt face….

**Sawyer:** Your mom

**Jack:** Your mom's mom!

**Sawyer:** Your mom's mom's mom's

**Jack:** Your mom's-

_Ok leaving now…_

**Ana Lucia:** It's the Great Gatsby Charlie Brown!

**Kate:** Where!

_OK so obviously everyone's high_

…_.a few hours later…. _

**Polar Bear**: Welcome to our American Idol style reward challenge, the person with the best song wins

**Charlie:** I'll go first!

**Polar Bear:** Whatever…

_(Disclaimer Teen Titan theme song…sorry if it doesn't flow perfectly…)_

**Charlie:**

When there's Peanut butter, you know who to call (Claire Littleton)  
From her tent, she kinda eats it all (Claire Littleton)  
Where theirs trouble you're sure to find  
I'll protected her cuz she's all mine  
I love Claire more then I do heroin  
Claire Littleton  
Claire Littleton  
With Desmond's super powers, death I will fight (Claire Littleton)  
Without my Claire it will surely bite (Claire Littleton)  
I've got the others on the run  
Ethan had meet my personal gun  
Hanging with Claire is so much fun  
Claire Littleton  
Claire Littleton

**Claire:** I love you!...despite that you're a recovering heroin addict, you kidnapped my baby, you started a fire, took Sun, and you smell funny

**Charlie:** I love you too…

**Audience:** claps

**Polar Bear:** Anyone else?...wait there's no one else here besides you two!

**Charlie:** I had nothing to do with it!

**Ryan Seacrest:** My mouth is huge!

_Meanwhile in a small cage that Charlie put everyone in so he and Claire could win reward but had nothing to do with_

**Jack: **

I took a trip to the year 3000

Not much has changed but they live underwater

And your great great great granddaughter is doing fine

DOING FINE! YEAH!

**Sayid:** Spicy!

**Kate:**

I like bananas coconuts and grapes

I like bananas coconuts and grapes

I like bananas coconuts and grapes

That's why they call me Tarzan of the apes!

**Sayid:** BBQ-y

**Mr. Eko:**

Everybody was kun fu fighting hi ya

Those guys are fast as lightning

**Sayid:** garlic-y

_Back at The Reward Challenge_

**Simon:** Does this shirt make me look fat

**Paula:** I'm drunk again!

**Randy:** What up cat!

**Simon:** Don't you mean dog…

**Randy:** No man I mean cat, I don't want to be a petist!

**Simon:** Petist?

**Randy:** You know like racist!

**Simon:** Right…

**Paula:** Charlie Sweet heart you win! Hehehehehehehehehehehehheheheheheheheh….I Love vodka!...I mean water….hehehehehehehehehehehheheheheheheheheheheh….

**Polar Bear:** What a surprise

**Ryan Seacrest**: you win _I can't believe it's not Peanut Butter! _I like my huge mouth I think its sexy!

**Claire:** WOW that's so cool Charlie! Now I can eat peanut butter any time I want. But its not really peanut butter but I think it is, but its not, so don't tell me that it's not because I'm happy when I'm eating peanut butter!

**Charlie: **Yeah now I've won the heart of my Claire with out the help of my fellow castaways in cages.

**Polar Bear:** Ok….go away now!

**Ryan Seacrest:** My mouth is huge!

**Polar Bear:** Shut up….

END OF DAY 10

VOTE FOR WHO YOU WANT VOTED OFF! ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER UNTILL TRIBAL COUNCIL!

_This is brought to you by Dell…purely you _

What the heck is Lostemon…find out next chapter….


	14. Day 11 Pokemon! Lostemon!

Here we are back at the beach, all of our castaways are anticipating the dreading immunity challenge of doom when Jack has a brilliant idea.

**Jack:** I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!

**Sawyer:** ME? Who do you think you are doc, Jack Ketchum?

**Jack:** Exactly! Boone hit it!

**Boone (in overly dramatic singing voice):**

I want to be the very best like no one very was,

To catch them is my greatest task to train them in my cost,

I will travel across the land searching far and wide,

These Pokemon to understand the power that's inside,

POKEMON

Gotta catch them all,

Its you and me I know it's my destiny,

POKEMON

Oh you're my best friend in a world we must defend

POKEMON

Our hearts so true our courage will pull us threw you teach me and I'll teach you POKEMON

Gotta catch them all, gotta catch them all

POKEMON.

**Sawyer:** Well, that wasn't disturbing at all…

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

**Jack:** What?

To protect the island from devastation,

To unit all others with in out nation

To announce the evils of truth and love

To extend our reach to the falling planes above

JOHN LOCKE

Team **Locket** blast off to the speed of light

Surrender now of prepare to fight.

_I'm bald that right!_

**Jack:** Gasp! Its team Locket, always trying to steal my leadership on this island!

**Locke (who randomly appears and has nothing to do with the survivor game):** That's right Jack Ketchum! And once I win this battle you're done for!

**Jack:** In you're dreams!

_Annoying battle music starts to play_

**Jack:** Pikachu I choose you!

_Jack throws a coconut with a Pickachu face drawn on it._

**Locke:** Go Meowth!

_Locke throws a rock out with a cat face on it._

_Jack glares at Locke, Locke glares at Jack_

**Jack:** Thunderbolt!

_Nothing happens_

**Locke:** Payday!

_Nothing happens_

_Again Jack glares at Locke, Locke glares at Jack_

**Sawyer:** Boy howdy this is exciting! This is the most intense thing I've ever attended

**Ethan (who also randomly appears and has nothing to do with the survivor game):** Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

**Jack:** huh? Gasp! Its…..you…..uh….I don't know who you are….

**Ethan:** I'm Ethan the first member of the Elite 4 8 15 16 23 42! Followed by Tom, Juliet and of course the undefeated Ben.

**Hurley:** Ah those numbers!

**Jack**: WOW! A new kind of Pokemon!

_Jack pulls out a Pokedeck and points it towards Hurley!_

"Snorelax, the sleeping Pokemon. Known for eating, and sleeping did I mention eating!!!!"

**Hurley:** Its calling me fat isn't it….I'm just big boned ok!

**Jack:** Pokeball go!

_Jack throws a mango at Hurley_

**Hurley:** Dude….

**Jack:** Wow I guess I need an ultraball to catch this Pokemon, but that was the last pokeball I had…

**Hurley:** Pokemon?

**Sawyer:** It's like Expose Hurley, except there's no crime fighting strippers.

**Hurley:** Really?

**Sawyer:** No

**Kate:** I'm Nurse Joy! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

_Kate smiles at Jack and Sawyer with an overly happy smile_

**Sawyer:** Jack….what did you do with Kate?

**Charlie:** Hey where did my heroin go!!!

**Sawyer: **….that explains it…

**Artz (who again also randomly appears and has nothing to do with the survivor game):** I'm Professor Oak…I'm mean Professor Artz I know all about Pokemon!

**Sawyer:** Really do ya?

**Artz:** I'm not secretly in loved with Ash's mom…I mean Jack's mom!

**Sawyer:** Huh?

**Jack:** Gasp!

**Sawyer: **That's comforting…

**Jack:** You know, I haven't aged.

**Sawyer:** That science teacher loves your mom and that doesn't faze you?

**Jack:** No, I have bigger problems back in 1995 I was 10 years old, now here it is 2007 and I'm still 10. My voice hasn't cracked and I've worn the same clothes for 12 years….

**Sawyer:** You're facial hair doesn't grow on this island either…

**Jack:** You're right!

**Locke:** uh what about our Pokemon battle you little un-aging kid!

**Jack:** You bald gezer!

**Locke:** Hey…its generic ok! It's not my fault that my hair fell out…

_Locke falls to the floor in a fetal position rocking back and forth sucking on his thumb_

**Jack:** Alright how about this I win this challenge, I get immunity. If you win I'll shave my head!

**Locke:** Ok!

_Once again annoying battle music plays_

**Jack:** Pickachu tackle!

**Locke:** Meowth slash!

_Nothing happens_

**Sawyer:** Oh give me a break!

_Sawyer walks over and kicks Locke's rock into the ocean._

**Brock (do I have to go over this again….again randomly appears and has nothing to do with the survivor game): **Meowth is unable to battle Jack wins!

**Jack:** Yeah!

_Locke lights up a piece of dynamite…._

**Locke:** I'm always blowing things up….so I thought this was appropriate…

_BOOM_

**Locke:** Look's like team LOCKET is blasting off again……

**Narrator**: Well it looks like Jack Ketchum had another fun day. He learned that friendship and trying hard is all that counts in life.

**Jack:** I did?

**Narrator:** Just go with it…

**Jack:** You're right I did!

_To be continued…_

This has been brought to you by Geico…..so easy a caveman can do it!

THIS IS LAST CHAPTER TO VOTE, DAY 12 IS TRIBAL COUNCIL!


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